Here's (a little) Motherly advice....a Dear Abby type of discussion for you with problems ;)!
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I was sitting infront of my computer this morning looking through all the great discusions start by all the new members here and I thought maybe you might be having some of thsoe some silly little problems in life we all do like, how do I play in my tournament & cook dinner at the same time or what do when the dog want to go for his walk while I'm running hot at the tables...? Well here the place to ask all those great questions that have puzzled mankind through the ages...(why does my wife ask me, "do I think she looks fat in that dress?") and we can all put our minds to it and maybe you'll come away with a smile!! (please do not use real names or nastiness & all post must be in the form of a question to Mother ...remember this is meant to be fun!) BTW, thank you southsidecan for the inspiration for this
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38 Responses
Discussion closed to new responses
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Dear Mother,
Why does every conceiveable bad beat happen to me over and over, and over. And what should I do to remove this curse?
3 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/06/2009 12:40PM [ Reply ]
The Poker Godz are a fickle group, sacrificing virgins worked well through out time... but nowadays that's frowned upon so I wouldn't recommend that (besides they are sooo hard to find too), If you're in Ireland you can try a trip to the Blarney Stone (remember the chapstick).
I just usually just fall to my knees & cry to them till they change things for me...that's why I don't play in live casinos...I don't think that would go over well!!
Posted by southsidecan on 05/08/2009 9:52PM [ Reply ]
You put a smile on my FACE TODAY ,Thank you
I hope that all of the members and visiters know this Will be a Premi
PokerForum will reach the far limits and with our members being able to Express their thoughts will reach the OUTER LIMITS!!!!
thanks for ur time
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dear mother,
Will i win my seat thru BetMosts World series of poker promotion?
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/06/2009 4:45PM [ Reply ]
Well... my crystal ball is in the shop, but the best advice I can give in a set-up like this is to be patient & pace yourself...it's a long road!
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Dear mother,
will those donkeys at the tables allways suck out on the river?
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/06/2009 4:51PM [ Reply ]
As a wise man once said, "you can lead a donkey to the
river, but if he hits an ace, he'll never fold" but in the
long run, they'll be reloading while you'll be cashing out
thier $$$!!!
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dear Mother,
Hi it's me iamthatgood, and here's my question:
is it better to be rich, or good looking?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/07/2009 11:59AM [ Reply ]
Well I this is rather easy....RICH!!!
If you think about it, good looks don't last forever (unless you're rich, then you got the $$$ for the plastic surgery up keep)
but if you're rich (see Lyle Lovett & Julia Roberts or Cher & whoever she's got on her arm now), you'll always have something beautiful to look at!!!
For the best exaples, just look at Anna-Nicole Smith & Hugh Heffner, both show what being rich can do for you, Anna was rented by a 96yr old, if he was poor, you think she'd married him?
Hugh was never "good looking", it was just what he did & 50 yrs later, he's still gottem hangin off of him, why...
Money...so, be rich
but remember..money can't buy you happiness, but it's a good ground floor to build on!!
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/07/2009 12:10PM [ Reply ]
very few have the looks AND the wallet!
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Dear mother
What exactly are the lyrics to nirvana"s "about a girl" about?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/07/2009 1:13PM [ Reply ]
If you look it up on the net, you'll see it attributed to an ex (as most good songs are, just ask any song writer), but with all music...it's subject to your own imagination!
We are all looking for meaning in everything, music, life, relationships, bad beats...but enlightenment comes with acceptance of these things and finding the joy in just being!!! (well with the others yes, BB's you can still scream & shout @ your computer about them, that helps me deal with them)
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/07/2009 2:23PM [ Reply ]
on montor #9 right now
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Dear mother
Are you as hot in real life as you are in your picture?
3 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/07/2009 1:30PM [ Reply ]
I've got more hair (that's the squatch part of my name)...but Homer is my hero, right up ther with Fred Flintstone, Al Bundy.
Is there a cartoon Icon that is quoted more than Homer or has influence society more???
Did you know that d'oh has been in the dictionary since 1998??
Also my wife is rather strict, so please, no flurting with me, please stick to questions less about me and more about you & your situation....
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/07/2009 3:01PM [ Reply ]
I smell a crush here? :)
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Dear mother,
Is it possible to sleep with a girl you love and be maried to one you do not?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/07/2009 4:31PM [ Reply ]
This question cuts both way (so ladies this answer goes for you too)....
Humans are one of the few species that "try" to be monogamous, as we became a more social aminal and start to group together in larger communities, we (as communities) made rules to help us all to get along, one of the rules (for most of us*) was to lock a couple together so that there would be less fights among us.
This worked in the start, but then someone came up with the idea to use "mariage" as a tool to build power....so love got lost in the mix somewhere....
So that brings us back to your question, yes you can, but so can your wife!!!
* rules that (for the most part) applied to the lower classes...the rich & powerful have thier own code of conduct ie: King HernyVIII (don't like the rules, make your own), Catherine The Great (see the list of her lovers), King David & Bathsheba...every culture has a story of the rich & powerful
Posted by george59 on 06/12/2009 12:58PM [ Reply ]
better to stay awake with the girl you love and sleep with the one your married to..
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Dear mother,
Why does it seem all the good women out there are taken or have "issues" that they can't get over enough to alow someone to love them?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/09/2009 8:38AM [ Reply ]
Well Jack....about the ones that are "taken"...you answered that one yourself...they are good!!!
As for the ones with "issues", well if you care enough & are willing to help them take on the issues (it can be like a free roll with 10,000 players, you need tons of patience), you may be reward with the mate you are looking for...but remember, the harder you look for that special person, the greater the expectations, the greater the letdown if it doesn't work...best to look for a partner that is a friend and some times when you stop looking for the perfect person, but a friend...you find they are right there in front of you!!!
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/14/2009 1:18PM [ Reply ]
Rather have them under me than in front of me :)
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Dear Mother,
I am ambitionless other than playing out every penny I have on poker sites, please help me find some ambition!
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/09/2009 8:49AM [ Reply ]
Hmmmmm....I don't think I have your ambition here in the lost & found (I did have a look, just the usual stuff, how do people lose thier underwear & 1 shoe?... I'll never know...?), so I'd suggest you look in the last place you remember seeing it and start there....as for the poker aspect of your question....it took me a couple of years of being "dead money" before I found my game getting better.
So just keep grindin atter, just remember to play within your limits...your game will evolve!
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Just a reminder for us in North America...Mother's Day is upon us again....remember she is the most important person in our lives, make some time for her this weekend, be it a phone call, a card, taker out for diner, or for those of us who's mother's have left us, just a little quiet time remembering them and ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS & TIMES WE HAD!!!
I miss you mom!!!!
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Dear mother,
please share with us the ritual you use to cleanse yourself of the bad beats in a big buy in tournament, so you can at least make the money!
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 1:32PM [ Reply ]
I don't play many "big buy-in" mtt's (I do get a lot of tickets for qualifiers though)....so here's the story of a BB that lead to a nice win....
I got a email from a poker site asking me why I hadn't been there lately and if I just log in, they'd give me $20 and 2 tickets to quallys (1 for a $50,000 GP r/a the othe for a $150,000 GP r/a)...in the $150ger qually, 6 hands into it I get KK...3/4 of the table is sat-out...I raise pot, get 1 re-raise I push he calls...with J9c...flops 10d8s6c,t4d..riverQc...he hits his straight...I'm crippled (down to 310 chip)...well I stewed a little, but I managed to comeback and take back my chips from that guy, finished with my ticket to the main event....in the Main Event...I had no money for rebuys...so for the first hour I play maybe one hand otherwise I just folded (mind you it was pretty easy with the cards I was getting)...I watch one guy rebuy 4x @$50 each (twice what last pay-out woulda been) and then give up...so I felt lucky to have 1/2 my starting stack left...in the second hour the cards started to get better and I strung together a bunch of great hands and moved into the top 10...I ended up with a 27th & almost $900..... so as they say...chip & a chair, you'll never know..I've cameback from 20 in a Rio..but I'll save that one for another day...one story per person....
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Dear mother?
what do the lyrics from Tool's "sober" mean exactly?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 1:58PM [ Reply ]
I've never been one for the word "exactly", I'm not in the writes head, but I find Wikipedia can enlighten you on it
Please no more song "meaning" questions, if you want a history or an interesting factiod about a song I may have picked up over the years that you might not know...sure, but only one per customer...
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 2:00PM [ Reply ]
BTW...it's a kool song, and it'll have a strong meaning to a lot of people out there...how's about someone else puttin up what they think of it??
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Just found this LOL pretty cool MS,
Dear mother,
Why does it seem all the young girls are so much prettier than when we went to school?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 1:38PM [ Reply ]
With age comes the ability to appreciate a great varity of women, we see the beauty that passed us by when we were too young to notice it....(also once married...the grass is always greener)
Posted by Oneiros on 08/23/2009 12:20PM [ Reply ]
Recently there has been studies that show that girls get prettier every year. Decided by the beholders ofc, but still. These days it's not necessary to survive as much as before, making the new Darwinism: survival of the prettiest.
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Dear mother,
Why do all the Canadian hockey teams play so rough instead of finesse like we do?
3 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 5:47PM [ Reply ]
Well to explain I'd have to give you a little history of the Canadian style of hockey....Our game evolved from lacrosse...a game that involved physical contact (& sometime death), it was moved from the woods to ice by lumberjacks, hunters & soldiers....where in Europe the game merged with football and was controlled by the Aristocrats & Blue Bloods....in Canada, we're given hockey sticks almost at birth (& in Quebec, till recent studies, a pack of smokes & a beer, see Guy Lafluers Bio), we go out and played everywhere we could set-up from dawn till dusk (streets, fields, and any patch of ice).....in Europe they'd play shinny on a large surface more geared for figure skating...the closeness of our smaller ice surfaces caused more collisions (called checking for you in Europe)...but we in Canada have a game that closely matches Euro hockey....it's called Ringette...like in euro hockey, Ringette the forwards never meet thier own goaltender, no one can touch each other (that would be a foul...) but it's usually played by women & "special" people here....as for Euro finesse, ask Bryan Berrard how he like Hossa's ability to finesse?? There a (very) few Euro's that can play hockey (Borje Salming, Peter Forsberg, Vladislav Tretiak, Alex Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr) Canadian style, while we send to Europe our best women (see Hayley Wickenheiser) & our washed up old pro's (Eddie Belfour) & our trouble makers who don't understand team work (Ray Emery)...gawd forbid there's another NHL strike or lock-out, them Euro teams were falling over each other to get the WORLD'S BEST PLAYERS from the NHL where would all the Euro's play??? Oh ya they hadda enact a rule banning too many Canadians on teams, I guess that's why the Canadians (that can't make it here) go to Europe and are given passports as fast as they can so they can play for the national teams over there (look at the rosters of Italy, Germany, France, England, Switzerland...) ...Now a days we've got the Euro influence in the NHL...shoot outs (bah, that's how you end a soccer game), that great stick work (now we need helmets with visors)...how many biting incidents this year??? Yup gotta luv the finesse of the Euro game.....I would recommend you watch Don Cherry to get a better understanding of what hockey is really about....;)
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/14/2009 1:19PM [ Reply ]
Johan check it out Don Cherry's rock em' sock em' hockey!
Posted by cplbear16 on 05/25/2009 8:51PM [ Reply ]
because thats the way we invented the game so quit trying to change the game we made
we love it just the way it was
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Dear mother,
Do you beleive in the afterlife?
3 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/12/2009 1:48PM [ Reply ]
Well before I met my wife, I've seen & heard of some pretty strange things...In my dayz of living the life as a roadie/advisor for a couple of basement bands...we would be at a friends place doing what rock'n'roll wanna be's do (to excess) & I would see this guy in blue overalls, dark shoulder length hair w/beard, just at the edge of my vision...I asked the owner of the house about it and he turned white & said..."I've seen that too, but I figured it was becaused I was sooo @#$%-up".....after that I was doing a "nanny" job in this house that the owner had died in the bathroom a couple years before....while I didn't have the same experince that other's did...I did feel things touching me while in rooms where there was no one else, I was told by the mother and 2 kids about how some toys (without batteriesin them) would chase them in the house when they would argue.....so I hope that answers your question...
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/14/2009 1:19PM [ Reply ]
ya there's def something "out there".
Posted by ExOnlinePro on 05/20/2009 3:54AM [ Reply ]
I like to think there is, but I have decided not to try to find it now (as its not possible anyway).
And its probably "afterlife" rather than in the biblical "go to heaven" kind of thing.
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Dear mother,
Will I ever find my one true love? (besides gambling, womanizing, and drinking?)
3 Comments »
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/14/2009 1:20PM [ Reply ]
(shoulders shrugged) What else is there to love?
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/15/2009 11:32AM [ Reply ]
I'd take a look around while I was doing those 3 things & see who was there for all of them...the one who's with through it all,I think is your person....but understand you get what you sow....
Posted by george59 on 06/29/2009 11:25AM [ Reply ]
So your looking for a drunk..... poker playing woman then ??.....lol
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Dear mother,
Are cats really required to be on a leash?
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/15/2009 11:41AM [ Reply ]
In some municiplalities, yes they do...why? well some people just can't stand amimals ...period!! They like thier gardens & flowers more...they forget what happened when (in the middle ages) they went after cats...The Black Plague...but if you do have a cat or dog (as Bob Barker would say) be sure to have them Spade or Neutered...and with cats...make sure they're an outdoor cat before you sent them out there...
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Dear mother,
How do I tell my "friend" that I think I'm falling in love with her? I am afraid if we move the relationship further on we won't remain "friends" anymore, why do things like this always have to be so complicated?
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/15/2009 12:24PM [ Reply ]
Hmmm...I think you're the one who is making it "complicated", if you are "friends", you should be able to be honest with each other about your feelings without hurting each other...with maturity comes the understanding that ther are 2 answers to a question...yes or no, by keeping it to yourself, you would show a lack of trust in your friendship...remember love isn't ownership, it's the next evolution of a friendship, if she feels the same, then there you go, if not, well you haven't sat there & stewed about it & you can get on with being friends....because having a friend is better than not!!!
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Dear mother,
Can you do an indian rain dance and put it on you/tube for all of us to see?
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/19/2009 5:12PM [ Reply ]
With all the stuff on YouTube, why would I do that??...But if you want a laff..look at this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SYFlonLmVs
Besides as Aborginal Peoples will tell you...there is no "indian rain dance", it's a Hollywood creation for movies, but different tribes have rituals to ask the great spirits for help with weather, planting, harvests, etc..
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/20/2009 10:55AM [ Reply ]
Aww come on MS, show us your booty!
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dear mom,
Why is it whenever I flop the nuts in a NL tourney some douchebag calls and hits runner runner "anything" to beat me?
Also should I tell my wife, YES!! you DO look fat in that dress??
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/22/2009 8:32PM [ Reply ]
Well...flopping the "Nutz" (I've had that many times)is great, but...there are 2 more cards after that...sometimes the "Nutz" on the flop don't hold up on the river...about the second question (which is against my policy, one question per response, but because you are a repeat I'll do it this ONE time..)...if you want a lot of free time to play poker, why yes tell her she looks fat...hope that the next wife is more understanding!
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Dear mother,
After a less than stellar relationship with a woman that was quite a bit younger than me, I chanced into a lady I work with at a local pub last friday. We had a great chat and then a nice evening (woot! ) and seem to have really hit it off. I am wondering if the feelings I am developing for this woman are happening "too fast" or am I feeling this way because I'm on the rebound? The scary thing is she says she is feeling the same way. Sighh am I infatuated, on the rebound, or have I met the "one"? I am getting older and want to find "the one"
2 Comments »
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/25/2009 3:29PM [ Reply ]
bahh it's just infatuation i think!
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/26/2009 9:57AM [ Reply ]
Take each day as it comes along, don't put pressure on yourself... relax, smile, enjoy, life isn't long enough & sorrow is all around us looking for a way into our lives... don't let it in!!!
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Dear mother,
why is it even when you're not talking to them, or including them in a conversation, women feel the need to give you their opinon on any given subject?
Last updated: 05/25/2009 7:07PM
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/26/2009 9:52AM [ Reply ]
Have you tried to do what mobsters do??? Send them out of the room when you're conducting business...what's good for the goose...also have you ever walk into a room full of women talking...it becomes like a library, so do the same thing to her...everyone turnaround & stare coldly in her direction when she interupts, then turn back & continue the convo...or always make sure she has at least one friend over while you're with the boyz...
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Dear Mother why oh why did my wonderfull canucks once again have to fall short so now all i have to watch is a repeat of last year Detroit / Pitsberg (did I spell that wrong Sorry)
Please Pray to the Hockey Godz and ask for Luongo and the Twins to stay and Add A fast tough defenceman and a good scorer
thx Bear
2 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/26/2009 9:15PM [ Reply ]
Oh bear...when I look into my crystal ball, it looks pretty bad for you there in Vancouver...I think Gillis made a bad move bringing in those ex-leafs... I see the twins leaving to join with the man who brought them into the league, Mattias Ohlund will return to play out the rest of his years at home with Modo (joined by Mats Nasland & Peter Forsburg)...Sudin will see this a retire as well to Sweden (joining up with the others), Luongo will see this and ask for a trade (also joining up with the twins)....pretty grim as I said, it's what the hockey godz do to GM's that sign washed up 39 yr olds to $10 million contracts, it throws the balance of the whole team off, but there is a little hope, maybe The Niedermayers may help keep some of those bodys around, but as long as Sundin is part of it, you will come up short!!
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/28/2009 12:43PM [ Reply ]
no friggin way! Edmonton will own the west this year!
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Dear Mother,
Now that Pat quinn is coaching the Edmonton Oilers, do you think they have a shot at making the playoffs?
1 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/28/2009 1:27PM [ Reply ]
Between Quinn & Remi, a good signing or 2 (get the goaltending straight), they'll right up there in the West...Col & Van could fall off the map, Ana & Cal are having Cap issues, Det will be a year older...they could go to first in the west!!!!
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Dear mother,
When does a Man know it's time to settle down, stop drinking and gambling, and get his life together?
4 Comments »
Posted by mothersquatch on 05/28/2009 1:31PM [ Reply ]
This is easy...when you have decided to join the Monestary...till then you can do all (in moderation)!!!
Posted by PF_Jeff on 05/28/2009 2:39PM [ Reply ]
BEST ANSWER EVER!!
Posted by george59 on 06/16/2009 3:52PM [ Reply ]
When his dangly bits turn green shrivel up and fall off
Posted by southsidecan on 06/24/2009 12:07AM [ Reply ]
couldn't of said it better mothersquatch,hope we all inspire each other
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